9/1/2014

9/1/2014...
today is his birthday~~ haha~~
but he at Johor now...
I don't know what I can say and wait for what...
I know he just a leagent admire only...
it's true~~ cause I wanna forget about today is his birthday le...
do u remember who I am ? can you remember who I am ?
I think you don't know who I am and don't know that I miss you sometime...
 I know that I will forget you soon...
why say like this?
I remember your name, your facebook, your look in school, your smile, your car number and your birthday only...
today is your birthday... but I got a little bit forget already...
so... I think I can forget you one day...
you really just a leagent admire...
is that? yap~~~
hehe~~
fight~~~ today wanna write all the novel and pass up le...
cause I fix the date is tomorrow wanna pass up le~~
gambateh~~ ^^

sad...

hei... everyone...
I am not crazy... Just midnight suddenly wake up only... Suddenly surprise and let me sad...
this really a suddenly dream...
suddenly surprise me and let me cry around 30 minutes...
Is it a dream? or it will be happened one day? Can it just a dream only?
It really let me surprise and let me feel scared...
this really a crazy and surprise dream...
I think the dream will not in my memory longer... I think I will forget one day...
But now I really cannot sleep after the dream...
When I wake u suddenly, the tear come from eyes suddenly...
I don't know can tell to anyone... cause it is midnight...
I want talk to him but I scared that I will disturb him...
So I don't have told anyone...
I just told to dear God... cause last time when I am doing 灵修 I learn that I need tell HIM and no always tell other persons... (conclusion say like this bah...)
all I scared is the dream...
I hope that it will not happened...
today is 7/1/2014 (Tuesday)... the first day that I cry and let me be scared...
__________________________________________________
言语真的能伤害他人……
或许认为自己没留意，或者一直忘记，当作听不见，但是已经听见就会记住了……
所有的言语都会记在心里
无论是好是坏，都是会记在心里
但是坏的通常会被记住最深……
若有一天爆发，相信一定会让自己很伤心的……

target for 2014

hi everyone~~
long time no upload blog le...
5 days pass lo~~~ now upload again... haha~~
today nothing special lah~~~
I am in holiday+ing~~~
end of school already and haven't found the work again... ==
haha~~
I know my English become poor cause long time doesn't have learn, talk, hear and look at English things le...
English songs also become seldom le... but sometime also have lah~
now I am hardworking in writing novel...
today target is write at least 3 novels...
any topic and synopsis also can~
I also want to improve my English and go to learn Japan~~
I also need to read the Bible in this year~
I also want to read at least 100 Chinese books and 10 English books~~
hehe~~ don't give up o~~
this year also want to make 2 types cakes and 2 types cookies (all is 4 lah~)
During Christmas need to make a chocolate cake~~
This must do it!! cause I want to do this from form 4 until now le~~
Gambateh and don't give up~~ ^^

I CANNOT LIVE IN THIS WORLD ANYMORE...

I am tired... I really feel so tired...
today... we start the plan... we go to parkson, boulevard and other places...
while we don't have give so much, but we success give out 56 pieces...
but... why? why priscilla know? why she say that I lie?
I don't have tell her about this plan... she also don't ask me go other place for what? she  just ask go mymall for what? yes, I go mymall just put something and leave...
Is that I say anything wrong?
Why she know? Why I need tell her? yes, we are friends... but no need all things need to tell her!
I just find some persons that I think they can help me...
I don't want let more persons know about this plan... why always ask? Is that is your business? I tell you then you also don't want to help me...
Is that anything that I can do? I use time to explain and need to let u know what is this aim, procedures and lot of things...
I tell u all if u say sorry I don't help... Is that let me feel sad?
I really feel sad about this... I don't want tell any persons that cannot help...
If I tell them they also don't want do anything... this will let me be more sad... do you know?
You always don't know! cause every time you can say then they follow your instruction!
yes... I really give up... I know cry cannot solve all the problems... but if I don't cry how can I release my sadness?
I hurt, I sad, I cry... do you all can think about my feeling? I am also a human!
Why always like this!
When I think you are my true friend, you will do something that hurt me a lot...
When I think you hate me, you will do something that I feel I am wrong!
Who is the person that is true friend?
I try my best to let you all happy... but can let me sometime feel happy...
I really feel sad...
Why my friends always like this... How can I believe anyone?
Who is the real person, who is the person that lie me? Who? Who?
Where is my true friend? Where are them?
Is that you all think I am stupid? Is that you all think I am a funny toy?
please... I am a human also... When I open my heart to everyone you all think I am a clown...
I just want you all smile and made me smile...
I don't want wear any mask... I am tired...
I really don't know who can be the true friend anymore...
I really confuse...
Please...
leave me alone...
let me die myself...
Dear God...
I am tired now... I think I cannot live in this world anymore...
sorry to my dear God...
I really sorry...
I am tired, heartbreak and sad...
no one care about me... no one want I live on this world...
Dear God...
please take me away...
I wanna go back to your hug...
I know I cannot kill myself... so dear God... please take me back to the home...
I CANNOT LIVE IN THIS WORLD ANYMORE...
DEAR GOD... PLEASE TAKE ME BACK TO YOUR HUG...
PLEASE LET ME LEAVE THIS WORLD...
PLEASE LET ME FEEL PEACE AND HAPPINESS IN YOUR HUG...
I REALLY CANNOT LIVE IN THIS WORLD ANYMORE...
NO ONE CARE ME... NO ONE LOVE ME...
EVERYONE HATE ME... EVERYONE WANT ME DIE...
DEAR GOD... PLEASE TAKE ME BACK TO YOUR HUG...
I CANNOT LIVE IN THIS WORLD ANYMORE...

thank you...

hi dear blog.... long time no update... but... how say?
hehe...
today I go to practice the drama of church...
I think I choose a character which is hard to share the feeling...
while it's hard but I will try my best... I would not give up on it...
today...
also got practice the dancing... will done soon... almost lah...
I also processing the plan... but I think it's hard to do now...
the novel stop now... I don't know how to write now...
but I would not give up... I will write it before end of the year...
today I find something that let me surprise...
I find that karen lau said that I am a person always wear the mask...
how say? I think I got... but I don't think I will let other persons' knew easily...
how can this thing happened?
how she know? When I knew this, what is my feeling?
surprise? sad? angry? happy?
I don't know what is my feeling...
I just silent myself and think this thing...
how she know? why my friends don't see this?
maybe... she knew my things in my home... but it's no much...
anyway... thank you...
While I wear the masks always... but sometime I felt some comfortable...
I don't want hurt anybody and don't want let anybody hurt me also...
Maybe wear the mask is the way that can help me...
thank...
I know myself? no.. thank for her...
one day... I will take off the mask...
I will be myself and always smile...
I will always smile and let other persons always smile also...
thank you a lot.... ^^
Christmas is coming...
more programs are coming soon...
I will try my best and let my love Christmas day be different~~
Merry Christmas ~~ ^^

^^

今天是我们《爱玩圣诞夜》的第一场演出～～～
呵呵～～～ 蛮顺利的～～～
感谢阿爸父的带领&帮助～～～
其实我蛮紧张的，因为气球会放在我身体里面！！！！
我真的是爬到差点哭了啊！！！
更怕随时会爆炸，痛啊！！！！
哇咔咔～～～
但是感谢阿爸父，谢谢你让我演出顺利～～～～
thank to my GOD really thank you~~~ ><
I just now realize today is 14/12/2013
it's another valentine day for couples~~~
but I am single~~~~ ^^
but I learn something and want to share to my friends... and myself~~ ><
请珍惜自己身边的人，请勇敢面对自己的感情，请勇敢地把想说的话告诉他/她；因为你永远不知道第二天是否失去他/她
不要让自己的生活留下遗憾，不要等到失去了才后悔；珍惜当下，勇敢的说
这是从《志在四方》领悟到的，也是从我生活中所学到的……
thank to my dear father, God
I really know already...
或许就是这样，今年的我才没有那么多的心思放在爱情上吧……
虽然渴望，但是我却不再像追求了……
cause I am tired already...

smile...

hi... a long time no update blog already...
during SPM always update blog but after SPM forget and lazy...
hehe.......
I am hardworking to done my novel and other plans...
but it's tired...
while I wanna say something...
My brother backed home already~~~
This is a happy thing... for other persons and my mum...
I am no so excited... but I also felt happy when I met my brother...
but... I really felt envy to my brother...
why? because when he came back, a lot persons want me helped them told him welcome back...
before brother back home no one wanna talk to me...
when he came back many persons wanted me help them told him welcome back...
I really felt sad and envy...
I felt that really no one care about me...
how say?
at home... my mum and brother can told a lot, fun and happy... my dad haven't back also...
I really felt I am a remain person...
at church... I knew that got persons hate me... I also cannot talk to them a lot... really fell sad...
there are also no one can hear my complain...
my brother also scolded me also...
he say true... I said that I always need to smile everyday and let other persons can smile also... but I don't do that... I really need to train hard and always smile...
While one day if I cry I also cannot have any sad on my face... cause I need always smile every time and let other persons fell  happy... this is my promise...
I need always smile... I cannot cry or sad... angry? I think also cannot le bah...
I just can always smile on my face... always smile...
While I know this is hard... but I really need to train myself...
smile... always smile... always smile and let other persons can smile also...