I CANNOT LIVE IN THIS WORLD ANYMORE...

I am tired... I really feel so tired...
today... we start the plan... we go to parkson, boulevard and other places...
while we don't have give so much, but we success give out 56 pieces...
but... why? why priscilla know? why she say that I lie?
I don't have tell her about this plan... she also don't ask me go other place for what? she  just ask go mymall for what? yes, I go mymall just put something and leave...
Is that I say anything wrong?
Why she know? Why I need tell her? yes, we are friends... but no need all things need to tell her!
I just find some persons that I think they can help me...
I don't want let more persons know about this plan... why always ask? Is that is your business? I tell you then you also don't want to help me...
Is that anything that I can do? I use time to explain and need to let u know what is this aim, procedures and lot of things...
I tell u all if u say sorry I don't help... Is that let me feel sad?
I really feel sad about this... I don't want tell any persons that cannot help...
If I tell them they also don't want do anything... this will let me be more sad... do you know?
You always don't know! cause every time you can say then they follow your instruction!
yes... I really give up... I know cry cannot solve all the problems... but if I don't cry how can I release my sadness?
I hurt, I sad, I cry... do you all can think about my feeling? I am also a human!
Why always like this!
When I think you are my true friend, you will do something that hurt me a lot...
When I think you hate me, you will do something that I feel I am wrong!
Who is the person that is true friend?
I try my best to let you all happy... but can let me sometime feel happy...
I really feel sad...
Why my friends always like this... How can I believe anyone?
Who is the real person, who is the person that lie me? Who? Who?
Where is my true friend? Where are them?
Is that you all think I am stupid? Is that you all think I am a funny toy?
please... I am a human also... When I open my heart to everyone you all think I am a clown...
I just want you all smile and made me smile...
I don't want wear any mask... I am tired...
I really don't know who can be the true friend anymore...
I really confuse...
Please...
leave me alone...
let me die myself...
Dear God...
I am tired now... I think I cannot live in this world anymore...
sorry to my dear God...
I really sorry...
I am tired, heartbreak and sad...
no one care about me... no one want I live on this world...
Dear God...
please take me away...
I wanna go back to your hug...
I know I cannot kill myself... so dear God... please take me back to the home...
I CANNOT LIVE IN THIS WORLD ANYMORE...
DEAR GOD... PLEASE TAKE ME BACK TO YOUR HUG...
PLEASE LET ME LEAVE THIS WORLD...
PLEASE LET ME FEEL PEACE AND HAPPINESS IN YOUR HUG...
I REALLY CANNOT LIVE IN THIS WORLD ANYMORE...
NO ONE CARE ME... NO ONE LOVE ME...
EVERYONE HATE ME... EVERYONE WANT ME DIE...
DEAR GOD... PLEASE TAKE ME BACK TO YOUR HUG...
I CANNOT LIVE IN THIS WORLD ANYMORE...

thank you...

hi dear blog.... long time no update... but... how say?
hehe...
today I go to practice the drama of church...
I think I choose a character which is hard to share the feeling...
while it's hard but I will try my best... I would not give up on it...
today...
also got practice the dancing... will done soon... almost lah...
I also processing the plan... but I think it's hard to do now...
the novel stop now... I don't know how to write now...
but I would not give up... I will write it before end of the year...
today I find something that let me surprise...
I find that karen lau said that I am a person always wear the mask...
how say? I think I got... but I don't think I will let other persons' knew easily...
how can this thing happened?
how she know? When I knew this, what is my feeling?
surprise? sad? angry? happy?
I don't know what is my feeling...
I just silent myself and think this thing...
how she know? why my friends don't see this?
maybe... she knew my things in my home... but it's no much...
anyway... thank you...
While I wear the masks always... but sometime I felt some comfortable...
I don't want hurt anybody and don't want let anybody hurt me also...
Maybe wear the mask is the way that can help me...
thank...
I know myself? no.. thank for her...
one day... I will take off the mask...
I will be myself and always smile...
I will always smile and let other persons always smile also...
thank you a lot.... ^^
Christmas is coming...
more programs are coming soon...
I will try my best and let my love Christmas day be different~~
Merry Christmas ~~ ^^

^^

今天是我们《爱玩圣诞夜》的第一场演出～～～
呵呵～～～ 蛮顺利的～～～
感谢阿爸父的带领&帮助～～～
其实我蛮紧张的，因为气球会放在我身体里面！！！！
我真的是爬到差点哭了啊！！！
更怕随时会爆炸，痛啊！！！！
哇咔咔～～～
但是感谢阿爸父，谢谢你让我演出顺利～～～～
thank to my GOD really thank you~~~ ><
I just now realize today is 14/12/2013
it's another valentine day for couples~~~
but I am single~~~~ ^^
but I learn something and want to share to my friends... and myself~~ ><
请珍惜自己身边的人，请勇敢面对自己的感情，请勇敢地把想说的话告诉他/她；因为你永远不知道第二天是否失去他/她
不要让自己的生活留下遗憾，不要等到失去了才后悔；珍惜当下，勇敢的说
这是从《志在四方》领悟到的，也是从我生活中所学到的……
thank to my dear father, God
I really know already...
或许就是这样，今年的我才没有那么多的心思放在爱情上吧……
虽然渴望，但是我却不再像追求了……
cause I am tired already...

smile...

hi... a long time no update blog already...
during SPM always update blog but after SPM forget and lazy...
hehe.......
I am hardworking to done my novel and other plans...
but it's tired...
while I wanna say something...
My brother backed home already~~~
This is a happy thing... for other persons and my mum...
I am no so excited... but I also felt happy when I met my brother...
but... I really felt envy to my brother...
why? because when he came back, a lot persons want me helped them told him welcome back...
before brother back home no one wanna talk to me...
when he came back many persons wanted me help them told him welcome back...
I really felt sad and envy...
I felt that really no one care about me...
how say?
at home... my mum and brother can told a lot, fun and happy... my dad haven't back also...
I really felt I am a remain person...
at church... I knew that got persons hate me... I also cannot talk to them a lot... really fell sad...
there are also no one can hear my complain...
my brother also scolded me also...
he say true... I said that I always need to smile everyday and let other persons can smile also... but I don't do that... I really need to train hard and always smile...
While one day if I cry I also cannot have any sad on my face... cause I need always smile every time and let other persons fell  happy... this is my promise...
I need always smile... I cannot cry or sad... angry? I think also cannot le bah...
I just can always smile on my face... always smile...
While I know this is hard... but I really need to train myself...
smile... always smile... always smile and let other persons can smile also...