16/3/2014

long time no update blog post already...
because always got something that is unhappy or sad..
I want spread the love of God and the smile or happiness to friends or other persons...
so I hope that my blog posts from this year can always post something that is happy~
but today really feel sad...
I cannot be stand for it anymore...
please let me stress it out at here...
I don't know is that I am always wrong?
Is that I cannot be myself?
when I be myself, you all don't like and hate...
when I don't be myself, you all think I am no like myself...
I live for myself...
but..
I know you are my friend and you want help me and give me advice...
but do you think at my position?
you say you always think at the person's side...
but do you have?
maybe you have think at other sides but no me...
do you know that I have been hurt before?
I don't want to say...
I don't want tell and let the hurt broke again...
I really scared other persons advice me...
cause they will open the hurt again... maybe they feel sad...
I hope that I open my hurt and don't let them think the sadness...
I know what you say...
I know...
but I am changing...
but you say it again!
is that I am no changing?
I try my best to change myself!
but you think I am not change!
I just want be myself!!!
you hope I be myself...
yes! now I be myself but now you want I change again...
can... I can change...
I am wrong...
I always wrong...
I change the wrong and it become worst again...
I cannot say anything more...
I could not know what you think...
you say like this but your action don't like this...
I really feel tired anymore...
please don't ask me why I change a lot...
if I am no change, then got a lot things again...
if I change, please don't ask who I am...
I think I will change... but not now... maybe tomorrow or one day...
while it's tired... but if this you want... then I change...
the happy thing for today is I take a walk in the rain~
I really like raining day~
when I feel sad or bad mood, that day will rain~
while it's something terrible but I am so happy and thank~
maybe dear God heard my sadness and fall the rain down and let me be more comfortable~
I like raining day~
walk in the raining day, I can feel all things can be forget and the stress can put down from the shoulder...
I also can cry in the rain... no one will know...
I also feel happy that I can talk a lot today...
finally got a person can heard me say from start until end...
no talk any just heard what I say~
when I end my story, the the person give me advice~
I really thank that you can always heard me what I say~
thank you~
If you don't heard me what I say and just always give advice, I though I cannot find other persons that can always hear me say...
thank you a lot~