-smile-

For blogger at phone I think more easier lah~~
If I want update then can update le~~
But today really don't have mood...
Sometime I really don't want talk with her...
She will let me down and down...
I know I cannot affected by her...
But same room with her...
I really don't know what can say...
If u kidding then I am okay...
But can u don't say something like u deride at me?
I cannot say or give u any response...
U want me angry or what?
If u think it's fun then it's fun bah...
But I just want say u let me hurt...
Just feel more better but u let me me be down little bit...
But anyway...
Don't let u be down bah...
U are the best
Don't let anything to lose ur smile

Nth

long time no update blog posts le~

always type same words in new posts~~

haha~~

but seriously...

I really have long time don't have type word anymore...

I have long time no update posts already...

is this mean I am old already?

wakaka~

post again ^^

really long time write blogpost already...
while got 2 days wanna write de...
but lazy...

17/4/2015
I met him again...
he at the bus... same bus with my sibu church friends...
when i saw him... I hope I saw wrong
but no...
is him...
I met him again...
how say? sad? happy? no feeling?
I fdon;t know which one is the true of my feeling...
sometime I miss him
but sometime no
is that you are the same person of Journal Low that I remember?
I cannot confirm le
I wish is but I wish no also
I hope u change...
and also hope u stay...
while you don't know who I am, but I know who you are...
I cannot be the special person in your life...
but I hope I can be the person which live in your world...
maybe it's just little bit or in a corner...
but I just can hope only...
because you in my life...
in a special corner...

8/5/2015
at kl le...
this is first time and really let me surprise...
a girl which is tarc student and last same for PR...
we have a little chat...
but she tell me her hurt...
while because I don't know her, she don't know me also...
so she told me...
while I know I really too easy believe a person...
I need change? I don't know...
but just hope I am me.
I always me.
I don't want be the person that I don't know who I am...
Just happy got a person chat with me and trust me? =')

9/5/2015
while now is 10/5 already...
but I really cannot le
I really wanna cry...
so sad...
got much bitter water wanna say...
but how?
Who I can tell?
but sometime really let me unhappy... angry...
no all persons are perfect...
no all persons can accept the others suggestions...
no all persons can trust you...
no all persons can be the listeners...
no all persons have same concept...
no all persons...
I know...
and I com misses myself one time and one time...
but it's really hard...
but now face one hard thing...
at here no enough cash for life...
maybe I waste a lot...
but also got a reason...
because always share with friends buy things...
but they no pay back...
I need ask again? last time don't have like this...
how can ?
she know I don't have enough cash but...!
I don't say anything...
just no share things with her le
so sad...
nothing to say...
really need to face something...
so sad... haha?
I really cannot smile again...
hard... it's hard...
If no wound cut me...
I really think I am a robot le...
no like a human... got emotion le...
why I cannot emo?
why I cannot sad?
is just because I always smile and always happy with you others?
why I cannot have emo...
why cannot let me alone one time...
let me go...
let me hurt...
while I know I alive if no the wound...
I really think one day I will die just because my emotion cannot be control...

While lot of things let me hurt... sad... angry...
but I believe GOD will help me
Jesus will help me
HIS love always with me...
thank you for YOU... dear Jesus... dear GOD...
thank you...

嘿，我来发泄下；若看到了，请不要跟别人说
朋友们……
我现在想你们了……
真的好想好想，看到你们的合照，我多么希望我也出现在里面
现在的我，一边哭一边打字
一来是想起你们了
二来妈妈可能不能参加我的毕业典礼
那群少年的朋友们，你们好吗？
我知道你们不喜欢我，可能连想念两个字都没理过
可是，我真的想念你们
听着《最珍贵的角落》
能想到的人，就是你们啊～
我有点，不是，是很害怕
我真的很害怕你们忘记我
虽然口头说想念，可真的想念吗？
我不懂，也不敢问
不过，想念你们
我希望我们还能再聚一起，好吗？

Qnet's life...

hey everyone~~
long time don't have upload the blog already le~
today I want to let everyone know one thing...
that is...
I join Qnet at 28/10/2014
what is Qnet?
it's a network marketing, it'a something share one thing to each other
something like this lah
while I join this, but I also don't understand what is this...
I cannot tell anyone what is Qnet
but I just can say I am a member of Qnet
I think I have join around 1 week, I also show plans to 3 friends
but...
these 3 persons don't want join...
I really feel down and sad...
while I also no give up
but I saw my up line, his friend join with him
say truly...
I am very jealously...
I also hope my friends can join first...
but all of them don't want...
some my friends also no around me...
I hope they can join and we can help each others...
hope that...
really sad and down...
but I will not give up...
good luck..
believe myself can make it ^^

烦恼？答案？

hi everyone ~
how are you all??
fine or not?
But I really no fine...
please let me say in Chinese...
My English no good...
So I cannot type so much if I use English...
最近真的开始越来越多的烦恼了……
好多好多……
让我一边写一边想解决方式吧……
1。 爱情
最近被告白，可我对他根本没有意思。最不开心的事我朋友还故意做月老。能不能体谅我的感受下！我说不要了，能不能听下！是，一个人晚上走路很危险，要人陪，可是我不喜欢！如果只是朋友可以，但那不是！我知道这样子只会说我任性&幼稚，但是我真的不喜欢……虽然我不强，但我尽然敢，一定能保护自己。看到这篇文章的人一定会说我像小孩子，不懂保护自己。那就算了。有时候，不是你们肉眼看到的这样。我真不知该怎样了……
接着，回忆起从小到现在被告白有4、5次吧……这其中发现只要1、2个能保护我，其他的都是需要我区保护他们的。我真的傻了……我需要的是会保护我的男人，而不是要我去保护他们的男人。或许他可以说，我能保护你。但你的行动上根本让我看不出来你能保护我。我只会觉得我需要一直照顾你，并且还要忍受你。这不是我想要的……如果我喜欢你，那还能接受。但很抱歉，我对你没感觉……
是不是单身太久了？还是我暗恋／单恋太久了？
开始希望真的有个男生能保护我。
这是每个女生希望的。遇到一个喜欢自己，自己刚好也喜欢的人，并且能得到保护，受宠……
可是，我还没遇到……
之前交往的经历，也没有一个男生能让我对他撒娇很久的……
我真的好想好想快点遇见那个你……
这样我就不必这么累了……
听朋友说，我是女强人，这还是第一次听朋友这么说我呢……
而我的另一个朋友，常常被人家说是女强人，但却被很多人喜欢……
或许是心态的问题吧……真的不懂该怎样了……
2。友情
前几天跟老朋友见面，我真的很开心；但也让我看到难过的一面……
我发现很多朋友开始遇到矛盾，不解，不和了……
我真希望他们能和好……
我也为着我的友情头痛……
我很担心几年后，大家是否会忘记彼此呢？
还记得上次我记住一位Sibu的朋友，明明说好不忘记彼此。逼近很难找到一个第一次见面便聊得来的。那时候回Miri，还有互相通信。结果1年后，她忘了我；而我还傻傻地希望能见到她一面。说希望友谊不断。没想到，原来一切只是我死命记住，而她却忘了我。
我真的好害怕……
友情，真的好脆落……
3。金钱＝未来？
这是我最不想但又不得不烦恼的事情了……
最近我认识了两个公司 Qnet & Amway
我参加了其中一个，但现在在想是否要参加另一个
可是我真的不知道为何要赚这么多呢？
我真的好不想为金钱烦恼！我可以为任何事情烦恼，最不想就是为金钱烦恼啊！
可是，未来需要金钱这两个字
明明之前没有烦恼的，现在不知不觉开始烦恼了
累了，想到这件事情就开始头痛了
我现在很想好好赚钱，然后想开创我的事业
可是我真的不想为金钱烦恼
参加了这两个公司后，真的回有好转吗？
我不会推销，不会说话，而且朋友们都不喜欢这些事业，之前自己也是不喜欢的
可是……未来需要……
真的累了，烦恼到头好痛……
好想睡一觉后，这些烦恼通通没有……
可是这是不可能的事情，只好写在这里让我发泄下吧……
4。？？？
最后一个了……
是什么呢？是一个未知数的问题……
这个未知数有很多，不知道放在哪个才适合……
梦想？未来？爱情？
这3个都包含着。我希望能赶快找到爱情，然后展开我的未来。
但是我的梦想还是不清不楚。
想做糕点师，想做宣教士，想做个DJ，想做……
有很多事情想做，但却无能为力……
我该怎样呢？
真的好烦恼，头越来越痛了……
阿爸父上帝，求您带领我吧！让我明白我该如何做！让我知道我该怎么做才是让您喜悦的！请您指引并且带领我走着条路啊！您的仆人，需要您的帮助。
希望能从您那边得到您许可的答案。

hi dear blog~~~

hehe~~~

come back here lo~~~

请容许我用华文～～

已经好久没有写部落格了，之前真的很努力的写，现在越来越懒惰了……

加油啊～～

这个月一定要把小说完成啊～～